Hello! And a big thank you for reading my post.
Hey Mums! Yes you, Mummy! It doesn’t matter if you are a brand-new Mum or an experienced Mum, a single Mum or a happily married/co-habiting Mum, a straight Mum, a bisexual or lesbian Mum, a young Mum or an older Mum, a Mum of 1 or a Mum of 5. I'm talking to all you Mummies out there! The first thing I have to say to you. You're all total hero(in)es!
I want to remind you how brave and how strong you are, just to do what Mums have to do every day. I take my hat off to you. You're all doing a great job. Even if you sometimes find it tough. Even if you sometimes struggle, even if you sometimes cry, even if you sometimes look around and feel that you are the only Mum who’s having a really hard time. Even if you sometimes feel completely alone and like you're a failure. I want to tell you that, even in those moments, ESPECIALLY in those moments, you are doing a great job. This job, being a Mum, what nobody tells you is that it's the hardest job in the world. Being a Mum. Being a Mum means being a HERO(INE).
But you're right. Being a Mum is also bloody hard. I know that because I’m a Mum. My daughter is 3 and a bit years old. She’s a 'threenager', yes, she really is, trust me! She pushes me to and past my limits. She can make me feel a joy I can't explain, but also a frustration and anguish that I don't want to explain. It's complicated with her. I also have another complication. As I type these words, I am also staring at this very big belly in front of me.... and it isn't a beer belly. I’m 38 weeks pregnant! So I'm getting ready to be a 'Double Mummy'! Double the joy. But maybe double the despair? Certainly double the complications!
Generally speaking, I’m a very happy Mum. But sometimes I find it so bloody hard. Being a Mum while at the same time also being a Wife, being a Professional, being a Person, being Me. I want to share with you my challenges. Now, I’m dealing with:
• fighting exhaustion of the mental, physical and emotional type.
• juggling two business (my languages agency ADC Languages, and I’m a transformational life coach)
• being an active and positive contributor to my relationship with my husband
• trying to keep a million other balls in the air at the same time.
• processing the guilt I feel about having a career and not spending enough quality time with my daughter.
• controlling these crazy pregnancy hormones!!
• maintaining a healthy sense of my own identity. What am I first and foremost? A Mum? Can I please be something a bit more glamorous?
• having my work life balance not just today but (almost!) every day
• slowing down my brain which is overloaded with questions, with worry, with thoughts.
However…. I have some help. Thanks to my coaching, my ability to reflect back to myself, to find acceptance and to make small adjustments, I know what I NEED to survive and thrive. I need to:
• Ask for help.
• Accept help.
• Go to bed early to sleep
Go to bed early to not sleep!
• Meet my friends.
• Spend time with people I like and trust who are in the same situation.
• Lower my expectations.
• Be comfortable To say “no”
• Leave my daughter overnight and go away.
• To do something that I enjoy.
• Drink a glass of champagne
• Get a regular massage
• Have a bath.
• Find some silence.
• Spend time on my own.
But what I REALLY NEED is to:
• accept my beautiful reality, with
it's beautiful imperfections
• enjoy this marvellous period when my daughter is loving me in the most uncomplicated and pure way she may ever do in her life
• be grateful for having the best husband ever. Without him I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now, running two businesses, writing these words, and at the same time trying to be an amazing MUM, trying to be an amazing ME, most of the time succeeding EVEN IF ITS SOMETIMES STILL BLOODY HARD!!!
So, fellow HERO(INE) MUMMIES out there, tell me... What are your challenges? What do you need ? What do you REALLY NEED ?
I would love to hear from you.
Thanks
Arantxa.